last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
