Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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