Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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