I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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