I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
