just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
