I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
