I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
