i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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