Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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