She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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