No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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