found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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