Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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