You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
