tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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