Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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