I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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