How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
