I think I died a long time ago.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
