he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
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I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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