I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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