my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
