I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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