when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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