What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
