you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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