So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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