I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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