She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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