No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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