i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight