Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
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I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?