i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
