i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's official drugs can't kill me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
