You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
