you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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