she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
