the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
