Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
