Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
