I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
