I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
