I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
