whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
