I hope mine doesn't look like that
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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