i jhust puked up my retainher.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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