he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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