susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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