Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
