I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize