Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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