You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
