I think I am morally bankrupt
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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