You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
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I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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