Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
