Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
