He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
