So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
