If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
