I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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