She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
