3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize