I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
