mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
