I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
