47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
