I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
