I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize