plz talk dirty to me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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