redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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