$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
