I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
