either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
