Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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