I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
